After failing to get my point across multiple times, I decided to change my arguing strategy. This worked until I met a person who was at least 10 times as loud as me, and basically trolled me about. I often (thought I) figured out what they were trying to say from a few words, and then started talking over their voices, ignoring what they said. The way I saw it, the other party's argument was either irrelevant or not fitting for the situation. I'll answer this one as I'm a person who always used to yell in arguments. An optional verbal cue to go with this is "Easy does it," or "Easy, easy." I raise my eyebrows a bit, to get his attention and show that I'm trying to help him, and I put out one or two hands, palm flat and facing down, and push the air down toward the floor two or three times. I help him lower his voice and speak more calmly by using a visual cue. My son has Tourette Syndrome and is quite excitable. Walking away in silence is usually more effective than yelling back. Let me know when you can talk to me without yelling (or: when you've calmed down and are ready to listen as well as talk). Respond only to the yelling, with something like this, if you can fit it into a gap in the noise: Walk away: Don't respond to A's ideas or statements. Before responding to what he was saying, calmly ask, "Are you done?" or "Anything you want to add?" If he says he's done, but then he interrupts you again, you can allow yourself to be a bit indignant: "Hold on, you said you were done, now it's my turn." Or "Oh, my mistake, I understood that you were done. Really wait: Each time A appears to be done talking, wait longer than would normally be needed, so you can be sure he's done. (She is nice when you treat her right.) As soon as anyone raises their voice to her, she looks a little bit annoyed and says, "You're raising your voice." As soon as anyone interrupts, she says, "You're interrupting." Productive conversation ceases until the offending party apologizes. I know a secretary at a busy community center who asserts herself mercilessly with any and everyone. (I would not be able to pull this off.) In this situation I can imagine that each time A (Aggressive Person) interrupts right after seeming to be done talking, my son would open his mouth and then clack it shut again, making any onlookers laugh at A. My son is a clown and can make anyone laugh about anything. Here are some approaches I've sometimes seen be effective: So my question is: given that I've been told to stand my ground in an argument (the boss might be listening or you don't want your colleagues to get the wrong impression) with a person that uses intimidation such as yelling in order to appear as being right: is there any way to try to get my point across without yelling back? I want to be respected by my colleagues as much as I respect them and prevent such situation from taking place in the future. I'm afraid that me tolerating the yelling made me lose face. The same happened every time I started to speak. I waited until s/he finished and then tried again, but the moment I spoke a word the yelling started again. I tried to phrase my opinion, but the colleague kept yelling. I have been advised to just be louder than them, but I don't see the point in shouting things at one another, especially when there's audience.Įxample: I was arguing with a colleague who insisted I do the work the way s/he thought to be the right way (the rest of our team was present, but none of them spoke a word). Dealing with such people is very difficult for me as I don't like to yell or be yelled at.
I have met people that use this pattern as a way to end a conversation as 'winners' when they have an argument with another person in front of others: they just yell their opinion at the one they are arguing with and/or interrupt the other person when it's his/her turn to speak.
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